Working Retail

Working a retail job is a strange experience. I first got my job at the mall the summer before my freshman year of college. I needed a job and the mall sounded like a place with abundant job opportunities. So I filled out a few applications, got some interviews and had a job within about two days. Sweet!

Now it's been about two summers and one Christmas break and I could happily never work retail again. I worked a five hour shift last night and in an effort to unwind, here are a few things that bother me about the job.

I was working the cash register the other day and a woman and her two squirrely kids were giving me plenty to deal with. Our interaction started with her letting me know that she's very OCD. Fabulous. So for a while we did what I call the "I-don't-know" dance.

Definition of the I-don't-know dance: Customer brings shopping bag brimming with products to the register to check out. Begins immediately by pulling a product from the bag and stating, "I wanna make sure this is 50% off." At this point, cashier knows that this product has in fact never been on the 50% off table and is its' regular price. So cashier says, the lotion is its' regular price. This must be said with a smile and a tone that says "it's our fault not yours that it's not on sale like you would like it to be." Customer shakes her head and says, "oh no I found it on the 50% off table ring it through your register." So cashier rings it through and when it rings up as the regular price, customer looks toward the employee a few registers down who has been eyeing the situation. This woman is the manager.

Definition of the manager: Woman with the incredible ability to sniff out any situation where the customer is not completely happy and blame it on the employee. Specialties include constant use of the "phone voice" in everyday conversation, micro-managing, and almost obsessive devotion to the job. This woman ranges from 20-60 and should have better things to worry about.

Continuation of the I-don't-know dance: Manager walks over and asks what the problem is with the tight smile that says cashier isn't doing her job right. Customer explains the situation and manager says that even though the item should be regular price it is probably on the incorrect table and therefore Cashier, you need to honor the 50% off price. Customer looks smug and Manager walks away as Cashier adjusts the price. Customer then pulls the other products from her bag at rapidfire pace and cashier rings items through and begins to bag. Customer stops her unloading and reaches over to grab item out of the hand of Cashier. Is this a strong smell? Customer asks. Cashier considers for a moment where this question is leading. Does the woman want a strong smell? Or a light one? Which answer will get the woman to leave the store more quickly? So cashier answers, well it's not a floral scent which are the strongest but it is a very nice sturdy scent. Cashier can't believe she just used the words 'sturdy scent' in conversation. Customer never heard the awkward pairing however because she is already over at the table looking for a floral scent.

Cashier is finally allowed to ring the rest of the items up when Customer decides the price is too high and begins to pull things out of the bag that she doesn't want. Cashier must get these immediately out of sight while simultaneously deleting them off of the register. Manager eyes cashier. More employees have come to run cashiers because of the long line which is now forming. One points out to a customer that we do free gift wrapping. This reminds Customer that she is giving her items away as gifts for Christmas so she wants all of her items wrapped as well. Customer then pulls every item out of the bag and begins to separate them into threes for gift wrapping. Cashier mentally quits her job.

After ten gift-wrapped bags are neatly placed in a shopping bag for Customer to take with her to her car, Customer smiles at Cashier and says, "It's good you make commission or I might feel bad about all the trouble I'm putting you through." Employees make minimum wage with no commission.

Customer's bag rips from the weight of the gift wrapping on her way out of the store and Cashier ducks out of site.

-Employees are expected to be HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY while making very little money to appease demanding customers and kiss butt to managers. Even the registers have little notes that say 'Don't forget to SMILE!'

-Those employees who are uncomfortable with welcoming customers to the store with a long schpeal about current sales and smiles a clown would find a little over the top, or who can't add things to a customer's bag that they never wanted in the first place find themselves at the register. I am at the register a lot.

It's a tricky place to be, sometimes everyone is so seemingly happy I end up feeling happy. And sometimes everyone is so happy I feel like I missed out on some sort of company pill. Only a couple more weeks until I move back to school!